for my health

sometimes I really think I should stop drinking (mostly the morning after or when I'm drinking cheap beer) then I remember how much I love it. I don't like the taste very much, but I adore the feeling. it relaxes me, softens my edges, makes me comfortable in my own skin. so until my anxiety loosens up it's unlikely that I'll stop.

I have decided no more smoking though. (or at the very least become just an occasional smoker. a social smoker.) my lungs are tight and in pain, not the best of feelings for breathing. and I don't want to end up with some horrible disease.