The word that will send any student running towards the nearest thing they find comforting/relaxing. It's a time of great stress, especially us college students.
I could seriously not give a fuck about finals right now. I don't think I could give a fuck about anything at this point. That is the level of my apathy. I'm so stressed out my body has shut down and entered a stage of numbness.
I suppose part of the reason for this is I don't even know if I'm going to be able to return next semester. I still owe the school $4ooo, and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for it. The school won't let me register for class until I have that money. And I can't call the financial office because every time I even think about calling them I go on the verge of a panic attack. I plan on just going to their office and waiting until someone sees me, but who knows how well that will work.
If I can't come back next semester it's bye Chicago and Columbia College, probably won't see you until I graduate from California community college. This is the worst case scenario because it basically means I'm a failure. And when only a handful of your graduating class moves out of town/state it just sort of magnifies the failure.
This was my dream and it's crashing down around me at the moment. I just hope it'll still be salvageable.
Do you... *have* to go back to California if you can't stay in Chicago? I mean, if there's anything I can do to help... ;-; Maybe we can figure something out? Otherwise maybe if you can get a loan or something. I dunno. ily Emmy ):
ReplyDeleteYeah I kind of have to, where else am I going to stay? I have no money.
ReplyDeleteAnd I've been trying to get loans for a few months now but I have no credit (or job) and my parent's credit sucks.
Fffuuuuuu. I wish I were in a place where I could get an apartment, I'd make you come live with me. I mean if you could get a job up there and I could get a job up there, we'd maybe be able to get some crummy apartment. If that doesn't work, at least I'd be admitting defeat with you and we go back to Cali together.
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